he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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