bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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