i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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