Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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