someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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