i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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