i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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