Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
