So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize