I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The power of my boobs compel you
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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