and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
