I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
