i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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