ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
