OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
