I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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