is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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