She's JV to your varsity
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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