it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize