I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
