You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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