I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
