Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
