thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
