Are we in a gay sports bar?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
