i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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