i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
