I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
