Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
