And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
