I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
