I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
