she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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