Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
whose parrot is this?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
