I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
