you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
