you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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