I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize