At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
