Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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