I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
