Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
