Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
