apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
