I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
