I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
