before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
