kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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