We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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