Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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