So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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