I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
