you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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