she was so not down for the gang bang
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
