Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
