I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
