i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
