I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
People in love make me want to vomit
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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