Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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