just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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