$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
