i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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