Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
