Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
