Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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