Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
