Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
