The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
