were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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