I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
