The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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