Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
