then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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