as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
