sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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