he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
